Hello '18!

January 01, 2018

HIIIIIIIII hahaha. I don't know where to start, but I hope things are going well in your life! I'm that type of person who doesn't really have that much excitement over 'special' days, but 2017 was surely a B I G year for me so instead of excitement, I deeply feel very grateful for things and people who made my 2017 worth living.

I don't usually make resolutions, but I found this image on twitter and I kind of like the questions so I'll try to answer them today!



2017
Reflect and Appreciate

1. Describe 2017 in three words: Painful, revival, self-love
2. Who I'm most thankful for: Definitely Allah azzawajall
3. New things I discovered about myself: That I really like to spend my time without company
4. Single achievement I'm most proud of: I can manage to live alone this year!
5. The best news I received: Wanna One will held a concert in 2018? Hahah

6. My favorite place that I visited in 2017: Beaches in Malang!
7. My personal qualities that turned out to be the most helpful this year: The laid-back & ignorant side of me
8. My number one go-to person that I could always rely on: Ibuuuk. "Halo bu nyuci sejadah gimana?" "Halo bu telinga kakak budek."
9. New skills I learned: Taking a bath in only 5 minutes, managing my meal-time, eating chicken meat with spoon, working while online window-shopping, being heartless for some cases? Haha
10. One event I'm going to tell my grandchildren: That one time I went for a trip to Malang with my girls squad

11. If someone wrote a book about my year, it would be this genre: Young-Adult (omg iya juga ya)
12. The most important lesson I learnt in 2017: What matters most is my happiness
13. Mental block(s) that I overcame: Fear of losing someone/fear of being left? Turned out it wasn't that scary tho haha
14. Five people I most enjoy spending time with: Omg I have so many supportive people in my life this year, let's change five people into five group of people: My family, my interiots girls squad, my college boys squad, my high school squad, I think that's all.
15. My biggest break-through moment career-wise: I landed my first full time job this year if that make it counted.

16. My relationship to my family evolve: I appreciate more about my family existence, I tried to spent lots of my time for my family from the end of this year (because my cousin is getting married next year and that made me reflect because my marriage life is like... so near... and geez I have to spend my time for my family first before I'm going to be someone's wife!!! But yeah it's still like 2 or 3 years, sih.)
17. Book or movie that affected my life in a profound way: Sirah Nabawiyah by Al-Mubarakfuri (!!)
18. The best compliment that I received this year: "Ca, you look happier!"
19. Little things I most enjoy during my daily life: f o o d
20. Cool things I created this year: Tbh perhaps my undergraduate final assignment

21. Thing I thought about more than anything else: My future life?
22. Topics I most enjoy learning about: Skincare!!! Minimalist lifestyle!!!!
23. New habits I cultivated: skincare routines, no longer staying up late
24. Advice I would give my early-2017 self if I could: Please appreciate yourself more; please don't prioritize the ones who doesn't appreciate your existence; girl, helping people while having yourself suffering is s t u p i d.
25. Did any part of my self or my life do a 180 this year? Yeah. I used to trust people easily, now I have a kind of trust-issue. Also!! At the end of this year, my happiness rocketed high to be my first priority above anyone else's.

26. Thing that had the biggest positive impact on my life this year: Trusting the qada & qadr of Allah. This makes me soooo peaceful.
27. My most frequent mental state: Tbh, self-hate & sadness. Too many sadness this year, but I overcame it at the end of 2017 so now it's fineee.
28. Thing I did for the very first time in my life: Errr... graduating college?
29. My favorite moment spent with friends: Discussing about deen. I'm r e a l l y grateful for my saliha friends.
30. Major goal I laid the foundations for: To have a content heart, to be a submissive servant, to be a useful human being for others.

2018
Get Excited

1. The overarching theme for my 2018: The Rise of Caca's Life Quality
2. Things I want to see, discover, explore: The other parts of the world and people's perspective of thingsss. More experience! More self appreciation!
3. People I want to spend more time with in 2018: Ibu! Friends, lotsss of friends.
4. Skills I want to learn, improve, or master: Cooking, and... Idk, let's see!
5. Personal quality I want to develop: The inner student in me

6. What I want my everyday life to be: A Healthy one, like those people on youtube calling out people to have organic lifestyle. I aspire to be one haha.
7. Habits I want to change: I want to be a morning person please cooperate with me, body.
8. What I want to achive career-wise: A deen-fulfilling work environment
9. How I want to remember the year 2018 when I look back on it 20 years from now: I got admitted into a graduate program in 2018. Amen to that!!!
10. My number one goal in 2018: If I tell you this is a secret would you believe me or would you think it's just because I don't have one? Hahahah.

OKAAYY that's all. I hope things are way more merrier this year. Don't forget to be grateful for things that happened, the best ones and the worst ones (because it made you stronger). Bye-bye, pipol! See ya! It was fun, you should try it!


August 23, 2017

Ini bukan postingan yang melibatkan banyak riset, jadi tolong jangan ditelan mentah-mentah ya. Penuh dengan opini.

Mau cerita tentang pikiran-pikiran yang muncul setelah nonton film Battleship Island yang baru saya tonton beberapa hari lalu bersama teman-teman. Kalau kamu belum nonton, nggak baca juga nggak apa-apa haha. Atau baca sinopsisnya dulu aja biar lebih jelas.

Film ini secara umum memperlihatkan perbudakan di zamannya Jepang menjajah Korea. Yang paling nempel dari awal sampai akhir film adalah kebiadaban Jepang ketika menjajah, sih. Dari situ saya jadi mulai membayangkan scenes waktu Indonesia dijajah Jepang. Nggak tega.

Masalahnya gini, saya, yang udah 22 tahun hidup di Indonesia, baru bener-bener kepikiran tentang kekejaman penjajah di Indonesia pada umur yang segini. Ironis, ya? Menurut saya hal-hal kayak gini yang bikin kebanyakan orang Indonesia nggak nasionalis. Karena nggak kenal sama sejarah bangsa sendiri.

Entah saya yang kurang effort, atau memang hal-hal krusial mengenai perjuangan Indonesia nggak ditanamkan dengan mendalam di negara kita. Nggak tau sih, ya, padahal patung-patung pahlawan banyak, museum sejarah di Indonesia juga sudah mulai direvitalisasi dan diperbanyak lagi, cerita tentang sejarah Indonesia juga nggak diumpetin di buku-buku pelajaran (mungkin ada beberapa yang diumpetin, tapi seenggaknya nggak seketat Jepang, sih).

Tapi dari film ini saya belajar bahwa edukasi mengenai sejarah bangsa sendiri itu penting, dan mungkin Indonesia perlu melibatkan media-media baru dalam mengedukasi masyarakatnya.

Tambahan:
This wiki article triggers my thoughts. Kamu bisa cobain baca, dan lihat kamu bakal kesel apa enggak hahaha. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_crimes

Things, Scattered

July 04, 2017

1. HAPPY EID.

I spent my eid week mostly with my family, went out for meals, outdoor picnics, and malls. Mostly malls, because it's Jakarta. Yet after almost a week I spent here I didn't think of any place, padahal bisa mengunjungi art galleries or museums. But I'm not sure if they're open, though. Anyway, spending time with family is priceless. My most favorite place of all is Gunung Pancar located in Sentul. THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF PINES uh my favorite. Pine forest kind of remind me of fantasy books. Loving its calming vibes. Padahal di Sentul itu nggak calming-calming banget sih haha panaasss. But it's okay.



2. Being selfish while understanding others

THAT'S JUST one impossible task to comprehend. I used to see it as one paradoxical state of mind, because come on, you cannot possibly being selfish yet still manage to understand people. I think maybe it's because when I am with somebody I love I tend to place myself after them, and after I learned about myself it always naturally happens that way. By doing this I kind of overlook their traits, I thought I knew them but I actually don't. I mean, I think you wouldn't fully understand them when you haven't understand yourself first.

Also I was kind of researching about MBTI character types while ago, to finally found myself astonished at how people could be so, so different. And so I made peace with myself, this kind of a spiritual journey for me lol, but really. Forgiving yourself is never easy. Forgiving self leads to accepting self. Accepting self leads to understanding self. Understanding self leads to understanding others. And that, mate, leads to forgiving others. Really, guys. I'm still in the process of all that, but to make peace with yourself and make peace with whatever emotions people gave you, is such a huge step forward.

And that's what I mean by being selfish. To understand, to accept yourself first before others. And while doing that you will find yourself accepting others, and for me it kind of set clear boundaries, I guess?

I thought of writing a single post about this but naaaaaah so many things going on inside my brain I need to pour them all first.

3. Friends are getting engaged

Yeah, that. If you ask me about when I will reach that stage, I could really write a single post about it because I don't have any straight answer (actually I have. It's: IDK). To be honest, can't see me having that in the near future (but only God knows amirite). Anyway, we won't talk about that.

I want to talk about the feelings those moments gave me. Seeing friends getting engaged here and there makes me realized that in the end the right one will come to you in the right time. Whether you wait for him or not. And we will, I repeat, we will, finally come across someone who has the same lame jokes like us, who understands us, who sees us as we are. And that thought soothes me. These chasing games were so tiring, weren't they? I think we should stop (I'm still trying, pls don't judge me), and you know, just live life to the fullest. So when we meet him we can be a whole piece of bubbly human being, not trying to complete each other, but to both agree to live a life as a partner together. TSAH teorinya mah gitu sih.

Happy for them. I'd love to shop some pairs of baju kondangan.

4. Graduation is coming

I'm so excited yet scared.

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That's all for now. It's very scattered here inside my brain. Wishing you a wonderful days ahead.

Yours truly.

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