Melancholia & A Mind That Cannot Sleep

November 27, 2015

Sometimes I wish I could tell my feelings clearly, exactly what I feel because of course that would be easier for some cases. I could tell a person 'you know what, I'm immune to your talking it doesn't affect me anymore so you can stop now', or 'do you know it is fun to talk to you and I want more of this', or 'look, I'm boring, change the topic, please?', or even just... 'I like you a lot'.

Yeah, no. Because guess what. No. Because people have feelings too. And however we firmly believe that 'a person doesn't have any responsibility for another person's feelings', we still care. No, it's not personal boundaries. It is just simply rude to blurt out your feelings, however sweet the sentence is.

Yes, rude. Once you blurted it out, things will fall into pieces of thoughts and possibilities. Maybe not on your side, but his/her side. And the next episode that might include unpredictable feedback, is still your responsibility. A risk? Can we call it a risk and responsibility? Can we call it both?

Maybe we care about people's feelings, or maybe we don't. Maybe we just care about possibilities that will come around to our selves. Maybe we're just selfish, or maybe we're just a coward. Maybe we just don't want to feel lonely, and there is a fear of losing.

Maybe we're just humans.

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