Things, Scattered

July 04, 2017

1. HAPPY EID.

I spent my eid week mostly with my family, went out for meals, outdoor picnics, and malls. Mostly malls, because it's Jakarta. Yet after almost a week I spent here I didn't think of any place, padahal bisa mengunjungi art galleries or museums. But I'm not sure if they're open, though. Anyway, spending time with family is priceless. My most favorite place of all is Gunung Pancar located in Sentul. THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF PINES uh my favorite. Pine forest kind of remind me of fantasy books. Loving its calming vibes. Padahal di Sentul itu nggak calming-calming banget sih haha panaasss. But it's okay.



2. Being selfish while understanding others

THAT'S JUST one impossible task to comprehend. I used to see it as one paradoxical state of mind, because come on, you cannot possibly being selfish yet still manage to understand people. I think maybe it's because when I am with somebody I love I tend to place myself after them, and after I learned about myself it always naturally happens that way. By doing this I kind of overlook their traits, I thought I knew them but I actually don't. I mean, I think you wouldn't fully understand them when you haven't understand yourself first.

Also I was kind of researching about MBTI character types while ago, to finally found myself astonished at how people could be so, so different. And so I made peace with myself, this kind of a spiritual journey for me lol, but really. Forgiving yourself is never easy. Forgiving self leads to accepting self. Accepting self leads to understanding self. Understanding self leads to understanding others. And that, mate, leads to forgiving others. Really, guys. I'm still in the process of all that, but to make peace with yourself and make peace with whatever emotions people gave you, is such a huge step forward.

And that's what I mean by being selfish. To understand, to accept yourself first before others. And while doing that you will find yourself accepting others, and for me it kind of set clear boundaries, I guess?

I thought of writing a single post about this but naaaaaah so many things going on inside my brain I need to pour them all first.

3. Friends are getting engaged

Yeah, that. If you ask me about when I will reach that stage, I could really write a single post about it because I don't have any straight answer (actually I have. It's: IDK). To be honest, can't see me having that in the near future (but only God knows amirite). Anyway, we won't talk about that.

I want to talk about the feelings those moments gave me. Seeing friends getting engaged here and there makes me realized that in the end the right one will come to you in the right time. Whether you wait for him or not. And we will, I repeat, we will, finally come across someone who has the same lame jokes like us, who understands us, who sees us as we are. And that thought soothes me. These chasing games were so tiring, weren't they? I think we should stop (I'm still trying, pls don't judge me), and you know, just live life to the fullest. So when we meet him we can be a whole piece of bubbly human being, not trying to complete each other, but to both agree to live a life as a partner together. TSAH teorinya mah gitu sih.

Happy for them. I'd love to shop some pairs of baju kondangan.

4. Graduation is coming

I'm so excited yet scared.

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That's all for now. It's very scattered here inside my brain. Wishing you a wonderful days ahead.

Yours truly.

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